Riding the Shake: Meeting the Inner and Outer Challenges of Transformation

If you are leading transformation today, you already know it is not just a technical project or a strategy exercise. It is a lived, embodied experience—at once exhilarating and exhausting. Transformation places you in two arenas at the same time:

• The outer challenge: navigating resistance, aligning diverse stakeholders, making tough choices, and sustaining direction when systems push back.
• The inner challenge: managing your own doubts, regulating stress, and expanding your capacity to hold paradox without burning out.

Too often, leadership writing emphasises only the outer arena—plans, performance metrics, organisational outcomes. Yet the inner challenge is equally decisive. Neglect it, and even the most brilliant transformation will falter because the leader driving it becomes depleted, rigid, or withdrawn.

The truth is this: inner and outer are inseparable. How you meet the outer challenge stretches your inner system. How you manage your inner state shapes how the outer transformation unfolds. Transformation is not just about what you do—it is about who you become.

The paradox at the heart of change

Harvard Business Review recently captured this reality with striking clarity:

“Effective change leadership isn’t about resolving the tension between agency and ambivalence—it’s about learning to ride it.” (Carucci, 2025):

• Agency is the drive to act, to champion the vision, to push forward despite obstacles.
• Ambivalence is the caution that asks questions, highlights risks, and protects against recklessness.

Both are necessary. Agency without ambivalence slides into dogma; ambivalence without agency dissolves into drift.

And this paradox is not only inner—it is also outer. Inside, you feel it in your nervous system: the quickened pulse before a big decision, the restless thoughts before sleep, the fatigue of carrying contradictions. Outside, it shows up in your voice, your team’s trust, and the way your organisation interprets your steadiness—or lack of it.

The work of transformational and transformative leadership is therefore not to eliminate tension but to inhabit it—learning to ride the paradox across both inner and outer arenas.

Holding the shake

In her book Energy Rising, neuropsychologist Julia DiGangi (2023) offers a compelling metaphor for this capacity: holding the shake.

When leaders step into high-stakes change, their bodies often tremble—sometimes visibly, more often internally—with the intensity of uncertainty. Most of us instinctively try to make the shaking stop: we press harder and louder (over-agency), or we hesitate and withdraw (over-ambivalence).

But holding the shake means something else. It means staying present in the tremor without collapsing or exploding. It means recognising the racing heart, clenched jaw, or shallow breath not as threats but as signals. And it means choosing presence over reactivity—allowing the nervous system to carry the charge without fragmenting.

The good thing is that each time you hold the shake, you grow your capacity. What once overwhelmed you becomes manageable. You discover that emotional intensity, far from being a weakness, can become a source of energy and clarity.

For leaders of transformation, this practice is not optional. It is how you sustain yourself when both the outer storm and the inner shake threaten to pull you off balance.

Expanding your window of tolerance

This practice links directly to Daniel Siegel’s (2012) concept of the window of tolerance. Within this optimal zone of arousal, we can stay regulated, curious, and connected. We think clearly, engage constructively, and adapt creatively.

But under stress, we are pushed outside this window:

• Into hyperarousal—the fight–flight state, experienced as over-agency, rigidity, and stridency.
• Or into hypoarousal—the freeze–collapse state, experienced as over-ambivalence, resignation, and apathy.

Transformational and transformative leadership constantly pushes leaders toward the edges of this window. The visibility, resistance, and high stakes trigger survival responses. What distinguishes resilient leaders is their ability to expand the window of tolerance over time.

Expanding the window does not mean eliminating stress or paradox. It means building the inner flexibility to stay present in more intense conditions. Practices like breathing, grounding, journaling, somatic coaching, or reflective pauses can help re-regulate the system. Each time you come back to presence instead of being hijacked, you stretch the window a little wider. Over months and years, these micro-practices accumulate into macro-growth.

The nervous system lens – Why the shake happens

Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory (2011) provides the neurobiological map for why leaders experience the shake and how they can learn to hold it. Our autonomic nervous system moves through three main pathways:

• Social engagement (ventral vagal state): when safe, we connect, collaborate, and create. Leaders here can hold paradox and build trust.
• Fight–flight (sympathetic state): under threat, the body mobilises energy. In leadership, this shows up as over-agency—rigidity, control, stridency.
• Shutdown (dorsal vagal state): under overwhelm, the system collapses. In leadership, this shows up as over-ambivalence—withdrawal, hopelessness, apathy.

These are not simply “mindsets” but embodied physiological states. Under the pressure of leading transformation, your body can shift without conscious choice.

This is why holding the shake matters. Each time you pause, breathe, and re-anchor, you signal safety to your nervous system, inviting it back into the ventral vagal state. This is the zone where you can listen, integrate perspectives, and lead from presence. Over time, you expand your capacity to hold intensity without tipping into fight–flight or collapse.

The implication is clear: the outer challenge of transformation (resistance, volatility, dissent) constantly activates your nervous system. The inner challenge is to regulate it. Together, they form a loop. How you manage your body on the inside directly shapes your effectiveness on the outside.

The five dimensions of transformation tension

The Harvard Business Review article mentioned above describes five dimensions where the paradox of agency and ambivalence plays out most clearly. When viewed through the lens of inner–outer transformation, each dimension reveals itself as both a task of inner regulation and an outer challenge of leadership.

The first is voice. Leaders of transformation must find a way to inspire others with a compelling vision while still leaving room for dissent. Internally, this means managing the irritation that arises when people resist or ask the same questions again, as well as noticing the fatigue that can make a voice go quiet. Tip too far into agency, and the voice grows strident and combative. Tip too far into ambivalence, and it fades into silence.

The second dimension is ideas. Change requires reframing possibilities and offering fresh perspectives. Yet this, too, has its edge. Externally, new ideas can destabilise progress if introduced too quickly. Internally, the thrill of novelty can become addictive, leading to endless pivots and half-finished projects. On the other hand, the fear of ridicule or the memory of past failures can cause a leader to abandon promising concepts too soon.

Passion forms the third dimension. It is the emotional fuel that sustains a cause. Shared in a balanced way, passion draws others in and creates ownership. But when over-driven by agency, passion can turn coercive—burning too hot and smothering those around you. When sapped by ambivalence, it dims into apathy. Inside, the signs are clear: what once sparked excitement begins to feel heavy, or the fire burns so fiercely that every disagreement feels personal.

The fourth is discontent. At its best, discontent is the restless curiosity that refuses to settle for the status quo. It asks, “What would it take to make this better?” But unchecked frustration can harden into contempt, corroding trust and making collaboration impossible. On the other side, when repeated setbacks wear down conviction, discontent collapses into resignation, leaving the leader indifferent to change.

Finally, there is conviction. Transformation demands a belief that change is not only possible but necessary. Yet conviction, too, lives on a knife’s edge. In the outer arena, it means holding firm to the why while staying flexible on the how. In the inner arena, it means balancing clarity of purpose with openness to adaptation. Push too far into agency, and conviction becomes dogma; slip too far into ambivalence, and it dissolves into despair.

Across all five dimensions, the leader’s capacity to hold the shake and remain within (and gradually expand) their window of tolerance makes the difference. It is this embodied steadiness that determines whether tension becomes destructive or transformative, whether paradox fragments or fuels the next horizon of growth.

Practices for inhabiting the inner and the outer

So how do you strengthen your ability to meet both the inner and outer challenges of transformation?

1. Notice your dials
   After a relevant situation, reflect: where did I over-press into agency? Where did I hold back too much in ambivalence? One micro-adjustment is enough to recalibrate.
2. Train your nervous system
   Use small resets: three deep breaths before responding, a mindful pause before making a decision, or a five-minute walk before a high-stakes meeting. These practices expand your window over time.
3. Anchor in trusted peers
   Build a “kitchen cabinet” of allies who give unfiltered feedback. Sharing your inner shake paradoxically strengthens outer credibility.
4. Keep the why visible
   Surround yourself with symbols or stories of the deeper purpose. Anchoring to the why stabilizes conviction without sliding into dogma or despair.
5. Invite humour and humanity
   Laughter restores perspective. It softens inner strain and eases outer dynamics, keeping the work human.
6. Work with an executive coach
   A skilled coach provides a mirror for your own patterns of reactivity and blind spots. Coaching helps you see when you are tipping into over-agency or over-ambivalence, and offers developmental practices that expand your window of tolerance. The point is not to remove the shake but to help you hold it more consciously—sustaining you in the outer challenge while deepening your inner growth.

From micro-practice to macro-growth – a ripple effect

Each moment you hold the shake, each time you expand your window, you engage in micro-practices of vertical development. These accumulate into macro-growth.

For Catalyst leaders, the developmental edge is not only seeing more complexity but inhabiting it without fragmentation. Synergist leaders distinguish themselves by their capacity to hold paradox steadily, metabolising it into creative action.

This is the inner–outer loop of transformation: as the leader grows internally, the system grows externally. As you expand your nervous system’s capacity, you expand your organisation’s capacity to change.

Why does this matter? Because transformation cannot outlast the leader who drives it.

• Leaders who regulate themselves are better able to navigate resistance without collapse or coercion.
• Leaders who inhabit paradox are better able to design strategies that adapt without losing coherence.
• Leaders who stay human in the shake create cultures where people dare to stretch without fear.

The outer capacity of the organization is inseparable from the inner capacity of its leaders.

Reflective inquiry

Take a pause to reflect:

1. Where am I currently over-indexed—too much agency, or too much ambivalence?
2. Which of the five dimensions (voice, ideas, passion, discontent, conviction) feels most stretched right now?
3. How does my inner state shape the outer responses of my team?
4. What micro-practice could I start this week to expand my window of tolerance?
5. Who are the peers I can trust to help me calibrate and hold the shake?
6. Who could serve as my executive coach or developmental partner—someone who can help me see my blind spots, mirror my patterns, and support me in holding the shake more consciously?

Closing thought

Leading transformation is always both an inner and outer challenge. Inside, you are asked to expand your nervous system’s capacity to hold paradox without breaking. Outside, you are asked to recalibrate vision, voice, and action in shifting landscapes.

It is not a battle to be won but a paradox to be inhabited. Each time you hold the shake and expand your window of tolerance, you grow stronger, steadier, and more able to lead without burning out.

Because the transformation cannot outlast the leader who drives it. And the leader cannot outlast the transformation unless they learn to ride the shake—inside and out.

References

Carucci, R. (2025, September 17). The emotional strength you need to lead through change. Harvard Business Review.https://hbr.org/2025/09/the-resilience-you-need-to-lead-through-change

DiGangi, J. (2023). Energy rising: The neuroscience of leading with emotional power. Harvard Business Review Press.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton.

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Elisabet Lagerstedt

Elisabet Lagerstedt is the founder and director of Future Navigators. As a trusted advisor, consultant, and Executive Coach, she helps business leaders navigate beyond business as usual to build Better Business and co-create a better future - through insight, strategy, innovation, and transformation. Elisabet is also the author of Better Business, Better Future (2022) and Navigera in i Framtiden (2018).